Death By Margaritas
by vratsababe
Summary: A bit of Goku Smashing, Some Briefs family humor and some more Goku and alcohol infused humor in a blender! Written long ago in the early days of my ficcing, but it still provides entertainment! Give it a read!
1. Margaritas and the Royal

Death By Margaritas Chapter One: Margaritas and the Royal ====================================== ============================= Okay... This is my Goku Bashing fic that I needed to write. Hey B-chan... Don't kill me 4 this. No flames please, it's supposed to be humorous... =================================  
  
Vegeta flipped through the channels early on a Saturday morning. He flipped past children's shows, American anime and cooking shows, not really expecting to find anything good. He sipped on his Margarita and hit a 'random' button that Bulma had installed on the remote to lessen flipping.  
  
The TV ended up on a sock puppet theatre. Vegeta growled as he tried and tried to flip the channels again but the batteries had died. He chugged down the rest of his drink and decided to take a short nap until the batteries magically re-filled themselves, or until someone changed the channel for him.  
  
Vegeta awoke on an island. He looked around and saw Goku being smashed on the head with coconuts, over and over again. Vegeta laughed hysterically as Goku cried in pain, repeating the same phrase over and over again; I am UGLY and I am PROUD. Finally the smashing ended and Goku fell to the ground. Vegeta kept laughing, pounding the ground with his fists. Goku seemed unconscious but got up anyway.  
  
"More drinks?" Beautiful women carrying beer bottles soon surrounded Goku. One opened the bottle and handed it to Vegeta as he noticed he was sitting on a golden throne, much like the one his father sat on when he was little. Suddenly, the scenery changed. Now it looked just like the Saiyan palace, and Vegeta was wearing the proper attire for a Saiyan King. Bulma was seated next to him in the richly decorated robes that his mother had once worn. Trunks was seated on his other side, in prince attire.  
  
Vegeta looked across the room and the huge wood doors opened and a few men carrying a box came in.  
  
"For your entertainment, your highness," The man in the front said. They all bowed and left the room. Vegeta got up and walked to the box. He flipped open the hinges and kicked it over. Goku fell out wearing a sailor's hat and a pink tutu. Vegeta laughed and grabbed a pole, motioning for his family to do the same. They started whacking him over and over again. Bulma laughed and pushed her long hair aside as she beat him furiously. Trunks kicked Goku in the shins several times, laughing with every kick. Vegeta nearly cried with joy as he watched his family beat the one he had loathed forever.  
  
He laughed evilly as Goku danced around while being beaten by his family. Suddenly, once again, the scenery changed. Now Vegeta was in a carnival near the dunk tank. He saw Goku there, sitting in the tank. He grabbed one of the balls and threw it at the little target. Goku plummeted into the water, which was actually filled with sharks, snakes and killer dolphins. Goku struggled to get out, but Vegeta saw him get pulled under and the water became a cloudy brownish-red color.  
  
"Dad, hey Dad!" Trunks pulled on Vegeta's sleeve. "Why are you laughing?"  
  
Vegeta kept laughing until his twelve-year-old son waked him up, for real. Vegeta looked up and saw that he was in his house.  
  
Trunks looked at him awkwardly, "You were laughing like a maniac."  
  
Vegeta sighed, "Awwwww, Stupid dreams..."  
  
=================================  
  
And that's how it goes. This first chapter was a bit of a test drive, just to see how everyone likes it. Even if y'all hated it, I'm posting more! Any suggestions should be emailed me with the subject "Death by Margaritas" Or posted in your review!  
  
Love, Luck and Prosperity! Aikenlicious 


	2. Stories of Old

Death By Margaritas Chapter Two: Stories of Old ===================================== ============================= Here we go! Another chappie for the Goku-bashing chronicles. Hey! I should have used that... Oh well, that'll be the section on my website after it's up and running. I hope you enjoy this one. I wrote part of it a long time ago and it got deleted on accident. =================================  
  
Vegeta watched as his three little grandchildren scurried around the living room. Andromeda, the six-year-old with the attitude of her grandmother, ran with her black curls bouncing on her shoulders, chasing her cousin, Skyler. Skyler was Vegeta's second grandson, at ten, with flaming red hair that stood up, much like his own. Taka, in being the oldest, chased after his brother and cousin with a net. Vegeta laughed at his grandson's struggles.  
  
Taka stopped running, running his fingers through his mahogany hair, "Grandpa, I can't handle these two, can you please do something? I'm only thirteen! I can't die yet, I'm still a virgin!"  
  
Vegeta laughed at the adolescent before him, "Tell them that I have a story for them."  
  
Taka came back, carrying the two kicking brats underneath each arm, "What story are you going to tell this time?"  
  
"Ooh!" Andromeda squeaked. "Tell the one about when you met Grandma!"  
  
"No! The one about fighting the evil psychics!" Skyler suggested, making karate motions with his hands.  
  
"This story is a special one about a foolish king and his stupid family," Vegeta began. "And like all good stories, it is neither romantic or sappy."  
  
"Once upon a time in a land somewhere in the general area of Europe, there was a very peaceful kingdom. Everyone in the community was intelligent, educated and well groomed. The king was a powerful fighter, although he hardly ever fought. One day, the king fell ill with leprosy. Everyone wanted to help the king get better, but the king left the kingdom to live in solitary confinement so his kingdom could not get infected."  
  
"Although this king was a very wise man, he chose a very unwise decision. He put a man named Kakarott in charge of the kingdom. The king had not known how challenged this man was by everyday things. He had picked the man because he was the husband of his niece. He had never really met Kakarott, but he had no other heir. The day after Kakarott had taken the throne, the kingdom had begun to fall apart. The stock market crashed, the banks went bankrupt and people were beginning to lose jobs. People wanted a new government, but had no plans of how to overthrow this bumbling ball of stupidity. One man named Augustine suggested that if these people were as stupid and uneducated as they seemed that they would overthrow themselves."  
  
"Finally, about a week later, Kakarott decided to take his family on a walk around the forest nearby. His vicious wife, ChiChi, who was tearing apart a sofa with her teeth, nodded and walked over to stand by her husband. She called over her insane children as she picked bits of cotton stuffing out of her teeth."  
  
"Gohan, the eldest of the two, seemed mostly normal. He had a college degree in Finance, but really needed to study Psychology for his extreme fear of small, furry animals like squirrels and gophers. Goten, the younger of the two was a major crybaby. Don't take the crybaby thing too lightly because he cried at the sight of mustard packets. As I'm sure you can tell, ChiChi was extremely vicious. She tore apart sofas, chairs and practically anything she could get her teeth into. People could tell that she needed a rabies shot, but no one could get close enough to inject her. Kakarott was just a plain out fool and I don't think I need to go into much detail there."  
  
"Anyway, when the family set out, they greeted the people at the gate and left. The drawbridge snapped shut behind them and Goten wept as he clenched tightly onto the edge of Kakarott's cloak. Kakarott reached his hand back and patted the child's head as they walked into the marketplace. Yes, people were throwing food at them, but they kept walking with their heads held high. They took it as a compliment, suggesting that the people were merely out of confetti and they used tomatoes and boiling soup as substitutes. Goten cried harder and ChiChi leapt into maternal mode, jumping on a lady and biting her ear of as she tossed a chicken at the small boy."  
  
"When they made it into the forest, Goku pointed out berries and pine trees. Goten had detached himself from his parents and was walking about ten small paces behind his older brother. He was crying when a mountain lion jumped in front of him. He froze in fear for about twenty minutes while his family had kept going. The lion snarled and the boy began to cry. He cried so hard that he randomly exploded. The poor lion was very confused, seeing only a metal crown left behind."  
  
"About a mile ahead, Kakarott was acting out the mating dance of the long necked walrus. ChiChi cocked her head to the side and clapped. Gohan clapped a little, but was sidetracked by a chirping in the bushes to his left. He snuck away while Kakarott imitated a swan fighting to its death. On his hands and knees, Gohan crawled under some shrubs and found a baby birds nest. He smiled warmly and placed the nest on a tree branch. It was then that he looked up to see huge birds with guinea pigs on their backs. Gohan didn't have time to scream before the birds picked away at his flesh, killing him immediately."  
  
"It had been about two hours until Kakarott had finished his fight with an invisible swan. While his wife clapped, he took her hand and they went walking into an opening in the thick trees. He offered her to dance and she snarled and ran off into the distance. Thinking it was a game of hide and seek, he ran off to find her. Unknown to him, she had wandered into a llama farm near Spain and became a sheepdog. Because he didn't know that, he ran straight into a building. He walked inside to find a large group of men, dancing in tight pants. He smiled and threw off his cloak to join them. He danced with that group of drunk men until the day he died of exhaustion and heart failure."  
  
The three small children clapped as their grandfather finished the story. It was then that their grandmother came through the front door carrying groceries. Vegeta righted his chair and got up to help her.  
  
"Grandma! Guess what!" Andromeda sang.  
  
"What sweetie?" Bulma handed the groceries to Vegeta and picked up the child with the sparkling purple eyes.  
  
"Grandpa told us the best story ever!" She said excitedly.  
  
"Yeah!" Skyler added, "It was about some idiot king and his stupid family!"  
  
Bulma set her granddaughter down and glared at her husband, "Vegeta! I need to have a word with you!"  
  
=================================  
  
Heh heh heh! I liked that one! I have been planning that one forever! I hope you liked it. Please review and remember, NO FLAMES! It's just for fun, not to offend anyone.  
  
May the Schwartz be with you!  
  
3 Aikenlicious 


	3. Days of our Soaps

Death by Margaritas Chapter Three: Days of our Soaps  
  
I hope this chapter brings in more reviews. Also... would someone please review my newest Bebop fic? No one has even read it, I bet. Sob I feel so sad. Anyway, ENJOY!!! I FORCE YOU!!! Lol, jk!  
  
Chi Chi mopped the floor while waiting for a call back from the doctor's office. Goku had gone in while feeling a bit ill. She pushed her soft black hair out of her eyes and put the mop back in the bucket. It was then that the phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" Chi Chi answered, hoping for it to be her husband.  
  
"Hey Chi. How are you?" The rich and beautiful Bulma answered from the other end of the line. "I sent Vegeta over with that dish soap. Chi? Are you okay? You're being a little quiet."  
  
"I'm fine," Chi Chi choked. "It's just... Goku hasn't gotten back yet. I'm worried."  
  
"Don't worry, he's what, Fifty? He can find the way back," Bulma reassured.  
  
"I better go, Bulma. He might call. Bye," Chi Chi hung up the phone. She sat down on the couch and grabbed a box of tissues. It was then that the doorbell rang. Chi Chi opened the door to see Vegeta.  
  
"The woman sent me with this box of soap," He handed her the box. "Why are you crying?"  
  
"I'm worried about Goku," She answered and turned on her heel. "You're a man and—and you wouldn't understand."  
  
Vegeta laughed and put his hand on her shoulder, "That oaf? Yeah, you should be! That idiot has had mental issues since he was born."  
  
Chi Chi turned around with tears running down her face, "Kiss me, Vegeta!" With that, she forced him into a kiss. He pushed her back quickly.  
  
"WHAT THE censored DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?!?!" He yelled. "WHAT THE censored!,? I JUST CAME HERE TO GIVE YOU SOAP! I NEED TO GO SCRUB MY BRAIN AND MY LIPS WITH BLEACH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
Vegeta flew out of the house as quickly as he could. The phone rang again and Chi Chi picked it up again.  
  
"Hello?" She answered quietly.  
  
"Ma'am, are you Chi Chi Son?" The other line answered.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A!!!" Vegeta screamed from a pay phone about ten miles away. Chi Chi had just set the phone down again when it rang again.  
  
"Hello?" She answered, again.  
  
"Are you Mrs. Son?" The voice asked.  
  
"I am."  
  
"This is Nurse LemonLemonLemon from Satan City Memorial Hospital. Your husband was... was..."  
  
"Yes?" Chi Chi cried.  
  
"... He was hit by an inanimate and non-moving phone pole. He has amnesia. I'm so sorry..." LemonLemonLemon told her. "You can come see him in room 207."  
  
"Thanks," Chi Chi hung up the phone and got in the car to drive to the hospital. She called her sons from the car phone and told them to go there too. When she got to room 207 Goku was lying with his eyes closed and bandages wrapped around his head.  
  
"Goku..." She whispered and cried.  
  
----- Commercial Break-----  
  
Vegeta comes on screen carrying some charts and graphs  
  
Are you tired of feeling depressed and hostile? No, don't blame your spouse, blame Kakarott! It is his existence that keeps the rest of us from living out our dreams and having real peace in this world. Buy a Goku Mallet Smash On The Head Kit and feel better! Studies show that families that have several of these are much happier than people who don't! Call 1- 800-Kill-Kakarott-Now to buy a lot now! All proceeds go to the Kill Kakarott Fund!  
  
BUY NOW OR I'LL EAT YOUR CHILDREN!!!  
  
-----Back to show----  
  
"Goku!" Chi Chi ran over to her husband's side. "Goku! Wake up!" Goku lay there, motionless.  
  
"Goku!" Chi Chi slapped him to wake him. Nothing. She continued to hit him with large objects to snap him into consciousness. Nothing worked. Finally, putting down the mallet in her hands, she saw her husband fade into death. She got onto his bed and laid on him, crying and hoping that he would wake up and hold her one more time.  
  
But he didn't! And now he's DEAD!  
  
Two days later, a funeral was held at the little cemetery where Goku used to walk through while looking for the fishing hole. Everyone was wearing black, except Vegeta and Trunks, who was forced to wear red also. People were crying all over the place, they were so sad. Vegeta was smiling and hugging people, not trying to hide his obvious glee. As the casket lowered into the ground, people started to leave. Vegeta waited, however. After the last few stragglers left, Vegeta took off all of his clothes and danced naked on his enemy's grave.  
  
The End, Or is it?  
  
That one was fun to write. It wasn't as bashing as I had hoped for it to be, but we can't be picky now, can we? I am hoping to have the next one involve cross-dressing! Won't that be fun!? Review please!  
  
3 Aikenlicious 


	4. Rock Salt

Death By Margaritas

Chapter Four: Rock Salt

_It's been a while since I have posted a fanfic for this story. I have been working on a Harry Potter fanfic and a Spider-Man one also. Please check them out; I have had a lot of time for thinking from my grounding that never ends... until it does..._

**Action Text**

Trunks enters the stage from the left side. The eleven-year-old is wearing a suit and tie and has a plastic glass in his right hand.****

"Today I will be discussing a very tragic event that happens to most of us," He swirls around the contents (perhaps Kool-Aid) in the glass and takes a long sip. "Parents. Not just the curse of parents but the tragedy of an 'all adult party.'"

"Not to alarm any of our more sensitive viewers, but these parties, as they are called, are no more than an excuse to carry out their plans of making life for a minor cruel and miserable. I warn you, the scenes that I am about to show you may not be suitable for all viewers."

**A projection screen comes down from the ceiling and a movie begins.**

"What a wonderful party, Bulma!" Chichi exclaims from the kitchen.

"Yes, thank you," She responds.

**Trunks pauses the film with a remote**, "This woman in the black dress may not seem harmful, but she is, as I may say... setting the tone. Let's continue..."

Bulma walks from the living room to the parlor where a group of fancily dressed people is sipping champagne, "Everyone having a good time back here?"

People grunt yes and nod and Bulma smiles and leaves the room and walks over to the stereo. Trunks pauses the film again, "Do you see the terrors of what is happening?" Gasps come from the back few rows of the theatre; "Those with a weak constitution may want to reach for the provided reciprocals in the left pocket of the seats. This next scene may make you need to use them... Once again, let us continue..."

**Resume Tape**

Bulma pushes a couple of buttons on the stereo and horrible oldies music from the group's teenage years starts playing. She shifts her hips back and forth as she walks over to her husband. She wraps her arm around his neck and kisses his cheek.

"Having fun yet, sweetie?" She asks in a voice you use when calling a pet or younger sibling.

"Hah!" Vegeta laughs. "I think not!"

Bulma glares and hands Vegeta a margarita from one of the passing robo-butlers. "Just get boozed up so we can have a little 'fun' later on. Catch it?"

Vegeta glares a little and drinks the drink in one gulp, "Fine, you wanna play hardball? I'll teach you how hardball is really played." He drops the glass on the floor.

**Trunks pauses the tape.**

"Sorry people, but when I hear my parents talking about 'fun' and 'alcohol' in the same sentence, I feel a bit queasy..." Trunks broke off, looking a little pale. "Okay, let's continue..."

**Resume... again...**

Everyone in the room stops talking and looks at the couple standing in the middle of the room with a broken margarita glass between them. Bulma smiles, takes down her hair and rips off the bottom of her dress up to past her knees. Someone near the stereo clicks a button and it changes to freaky dance music. All the adults remove their sophisticated party clothes to reveal more risky party clothes that make all of the kids in the audience either cry or barf.

Chi Chi comes into the room pulling Goku by his tie. (Which was all he was wearing on the top half...) "Come on, Goku! Show me your side that only comes out when you're intoxicated!" With that, she pulled him into the broom closet.

Terrifying things were going on at that party. Vegeta and Krillin were having an alcohol induced break dancing contest on the table, (A/N: btw... Vegeta had more than one drink; I just didn't want to spend my whole fanfic writing about him drinking XX) some of Bulma's friends were playing 'Spin the Bottle', and a couple of people were playing 'let's strip naked, run up the hill in the back and see how far we can slide on our butts'.

**Trunks stops the tape**

"Now, I would show the rest of the tape, but it was extremely explicit. Instead, I will show you the terrors that come with watching the tape as a whole... This person's identity shall be kept secret for confidentiality restrictions."

**New Tape**

A silhouette of a boy with outrageously spiky hair is shown. The words 'Unnamed Victim' are printed at the bottom of the screen.

Trunks: Unnamed victim, can you tell us a bit of your story.

'Unnamed': Well, My name is...

Trunks: Shhhh! You're supposed to be unnamed, remember?

'Unnamed': Oh, right. I went over to Trunks's house to play video games on a Tuesday that summer. I remember sniff him telling me about a video that if you see it, you'll die in seven days.

Trunks: That's it, no more suspense flicks for you!

'Unnamed': Oh, you mean the _other _tape!

Trunks: Yes, the other tape.

'Unnamed': Anyways, he told me that when his parents held that party, he videotaped it. He said that I could see the behavior of our parents at a party. I mean, I usually was put to bed early when they went out, but Gohan, I mean... My brother said that they were pretty banged when they got back.

Trunks: Uh huh, please continue...

'Unnamed': sniff I watched it... and... and... bursts out crying

Trunks: It's okay... Just cry it all out...

'Unnamed': sniff sniff I just can't look at my parents the same way anymore. I feel... u-unsafe...

Tape clicks off

"Well kids," He said, rubbing his eyes. "Please remember, Keep away from alcohol... You could end up like them!

**Shows a disturbing shot of Krillin giving Juuhachigou a horsey back ride**

_HAHAHAHAH!! Oh my gosh! I think that was one of the funniest things I thought of in a while... I hope it turned as funny as it was in my head. Suggestions please. Don't tell Ghostbusters... Tell me, kay? Okay!_

_The one formerly known as Aikenlicious..._

_.. Chibi Vegeta Face!_

_(Keeper of Vegeta's pajama bo_**ttoms!)**


	5. The Meaning of Valentines Day

_Death by Margaritas_

_Chapter Five: The Meaning of Valentines Day_

_This story needs a lot more reviews. I don't understand why it doesn't have more, to tell the truth... I'd review! Lol, Anyways, tell your friends! And thanks ShadowYoukai for reviewing regularly!_

"Class," Mrs. Lemonlemonlemon called from the font of the classroom. "Today is February 14th. Do any of you know what that is?"

Trunks tossed his fourth paper airplane, "Valentines Day."

Despite the obvious pink, red, purple and white decorations, their teacher thought that they were total idiots. Trunks passed a valentine to the girl next to him. He winked and looked back at his drawing of an inflated Mrs. Lemonlemonlemon.

"Very good, Mr. Briefs," Even the teacher snickered at his last name. "Now, I know all of you have heard about Valentines Day, as you are in fourth grade, but I want you all to do a page report on the holiday." The class groaned in disappointment.

Trunks went to his locker and pulled out his MP3 player. Goten caught up with him on the way to the big doors to outside, "Trunks, I don't want to do a report. I hate this holiday... My parents always have a big argument and lock themselves in their room so we can't hear them. I mean... sometimes we can hear them yelling, and other days, they're silent."

"That's weird, Goten," Trunks put his skateboard down on the hallway floor. "My parents just yell all the time and anywhere. They could care less if anyone else hears."

Just then, Trunks spotted his dad's midnight blue Hummer and waved goodbye to his friend.

He opened the door and hopped into the passenger's seat. "Board in the back," Vegeta reminded him. Trunks tossed his skateboard into the backseat, along with his backpack.

Trunks turned to his father with a little notebook, "Dad, can you help me with my project?"

"What is it?" Vegeta asked without even taking his eyes off the road.

"A project on the meaning of Valentines Day," Trunks turned his baseball cap around and took the cap off of his pen.

"I don't have a clue," Vegeta looked into the rear view mirror to change lanes. "Ask your mother."

"Well, what does it mean to you?" Trunks dotted the paper impatiently with his pen.

Vegeta thought for a minute, "I guess it's a holiday full of sex and chocolate. To tell you the absolute truth."

Trunks wrote the note down without a full meaning of what Vegeta was talking about. His mom had said that sex was in movies, but she always fast-forwarded over those parts. Maybe it was time for the new Prince of Saiya-jins to investigate. Yes, this would be a very informative report.

When Vegeta and Trunks pulled up to Capsule Corp., Trunks ran inside, leaving his backpack and skateboard for his dad to grab. He ran inside to the kitchen where his mother was cutting celery, "Hi, Trunks! How was your day at school?"

She kissed his head and hugged him. Trunks was still holding his pen and paper, "Mom, what would you say is the meaning of Valentines Day?"

Bulma poured the celery into a soup pot. She wiped her hands off on her apron and brought her hand up to her chin, "Well, Valentines Day was named after a priest that was thrown into jail and he sent a message to his love that said 'from your valentine'. It's the holiday of love where everybody spends time with their special someone."

"Well, what's the significance of the paper thingies?" He asked.

"It's just a little note to say 'I love you' or 'I care' to someone," She said, returning to her soup.

"Why not just say it?" Trunks asked, scratching his forehead.

"I guess because it's just a lot easier to write something than say something," Bulma smiled, stealing a look at Vegeta. He crossed his arms and looked at the hallway carpet. Trunks looked from his mom stirring soup to his dad who had developed a fascination with the floor. Trunks sighed and left the room.

He sat on his computer after dinner, trying to find a good thing to write down in his report. It was about ten and he was supposed to be asleep, but was up finishing his report. Wait! What about what his dad was talking about? He flipped through his notes and decided that maybe it was time for some milk and cookies. Trunks cracked his door open and walked on hands and knees to the stairs. It was what he usually did and sometimes his grandma would come along and say 'Well, It looks like this baby needs some milk and cookies' and she used to pick him up and carry him downstairs, that is, until he got too big to carry. He crawled across the length of the hallway until he got to the stairs. He looked down into the living room and saw his parents sitting on the couch. They weren't watching TV or anything, they were eating chocolate! Trunks took out his notepad and scribbled down a couple of things. His dad would take a piece of chocolate and put it in his mom's mouth and then he would to the same for her.

He watched for a few minutes as this went back and forth and back and forth. He thought about going back into his room when his mom took a drink of champagne and then Vegeta got a look on his face and started to give her... artificial respiration? Trunks turned pale white and sat against the wall. He started to cry a little bit and then his grandpa walked out of the elevator door.

"What's the matter, Trunks?" He asked, kneeling by his grandson.

"I- I think Mommy is choking..." Trunks whimpered.

"What? Why would you say that?" Dr. Briefs face fell.

(A/N: Better pick it up! **Snorts like Kaio-sama**)

"Be-because, Dad was giving her artificial respiration..." Trunks sobbed into his sleeve. "I- I hope she's okay..."

Dr. Briefs looked down into the living room and then got to his feet, "I think she's fine. Come on, I'll tuck you in."

"And so," Trunks concluded his report. "You better be careful when you eat chocolate on Valentines Day, because you may need artificial respiration."

The class clapped and Trunks, although not fully understanding what exactly happened downstairs, got an A.

(A/N: Thank Kaio!)

_Heh heh heh! I thought that chapter would be a nice addition to the collection. I could have gone a little deeper, but I wanted to keep the rating safe. Review please!_

_Chibi Vegeta Face_

_When Vegeta eats strawberries, I keep the green things!_


	6. The Necklace

_Death by Margaritas_

_Chapter Six: The Necklace_

_Okay, this is a short little parody of a story that I read in English. It reminded me of Dragonball Z and so I am writing it now._

Once upon a time in a land called France, there was a woman. She was a beautiful woman but was born into the lower middle class. She would dream of fancy parties and having a beautiful house full of beautiful furniture and artwork. She believed that she was made for so much more than her lowly life. She was married to a man in education named Monsieur Son Goku. He was nice according to everyone else but this woman saw him as what was available for her lack of a dowry. This woman's name was Madame Chichi.

One day, a letter came inviting Monsieur and Madame Son to a party. Monsieur Son expected his wife to be very pleased at this, but she only wept.

"I shall not go," She cried. "I will look like a pauper amongst princesses!"

"What about your blue dress that you wore to my sister's wedding?" Goku asked. "You could wear that and I am sure that you will look splendid!"

"I cannot! It is not fancy enough," She dabbed at her eyes.

"Well, perhaps I can scrape together enough to get you something new," Goku aimed to cheer up his wife. That next morning, he bought her a beautiful new dress from the money he was saving up for a new hunting rifle. He brought the dress to his wife, smiling and she again began to weep.

"I have no jewels to wear with this. I shall not go." She cried.

"What about asking your friend, Madame Bulma?" He suggested. "She would probably lend you some for the night."

"I shall ask her then," She stood, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Madame Chichi arrived at the beautiful Brief residence. Madame Bulma greeted her with tea, "What can I help you with, Chichi?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow a piece of jewelry for a party tonight," She asked her friend. "May I?"

Bulma smiled, "Anything, come with me!"

She led Chichi to a room lined with beautiful jewelry. The brooches stared at her longingly from their cases and how she wanted to have so many. Bulma took out a couple of boxes with necklaces, earrings and brooches. After looking through them, she fell dissatisfied.

"Is there anything else, by chance?" Chichi asked.

"Of course!" Bulma took out a couple more boxes. Upon opening a blue, velvety box, Chichi fell silent.

"May I borrow this one?" She asked, taking out the string of diamonds.

"Yes," Bulma nodded. "Take care of it, my friend."

Chichi smiled and left with the perfect necklace for her party dress.

That evening, Chichi looked like a princess in her gown. At the party, she constantly danced with people while Monsieur Son slept in a chair in the other room. She danced until early in the morning, four to be exact. She got Son and walked outside to find a taxi. After some searching, they found one and arrived home. Chichi had just gotten into the house when she noticed that Madame Bulma's necklace was missing.

"Goku! The necklace! It's gone!" She cried. "Now what will I do?"

And so they searched until dawn in every taxi that they could find. No luck, the necklace was gone. They decided to buy a replacement and give it to Madame Bulma instead. After searching, Monsieur Son found a perfect replacement for over 400,000 francs. He decided to take out some loans because they did not have that sort of money. About three weeks after borrowing the necklace, Madame Chichi finally returned the replacement to Madame Bulma.

"I may have needed this," She said with annoyance in her voice. "You kept it for quite a long time."

Monsieur and Madame Son worked from dawn to dusk every day doing everything possible to pay back for the necklace. They fell from middle class to the utmost poverty. Finally ten years later, the necklace was repaid. The day afterward, Chichi ran into Madame Bulma in the marketplace.

"I have not seen you in a long time, my friend," Bulma greeted.

"I have a confession to make," Chichi told. "The necklace that I returned isn't your necklace."

"What?" Bulma asked with confusion in her eyes.

"I lost yours and I bought a replacement for it. I have spent these past ten years working to pay back the loan," Chichi feared her friend's reaction.

"Oh my," Bulma sighed. "Those weren't real diamonds in the necklace. It was a type of crystal. I only bought it for about 500 francs!"

_Heh heh heh... the irony of it all. Yeah, that was a story I read in English, like I said. Please don't sue me, it was just for fun..._

_Chibi Vegeta Face_

_Making chalk look bright since 1990!_


	7. Letters to Santa

_Death by Margaritas_

_Chapter Seven: Letters to Santa_

_throws confetti WOW! CHAPTER SEVEN!!! MY LONGEST STORY SO FAR!!!  Sniff sniff I'm so proud of me... Anywhoo... enjoy!_

Dear Santa,

I know I'm getting a little old to be writing to you, but I decided that there are some things that only you could truly deliver.

Patience- It's getting harder and harder to deal with a family. I think you understand.

Some Anti-wrinkle cream- Things just aren't staying in place anymore...

A better relationship with my husband- good luck with that...

A permanently clean house

Thanks Santa, I think the rest money can buy!

Love, Bulma

Dear Santa,

My mom's making me write this, probably just because she hates asking what I want to my face and so if that's the case... ask me yourself, mom.

Trunks

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I want a pony, some dolls, pretty toys, a Barbie Talking Dorm Room, a new DVD player, a pony, some movies, lots of candy, a pony, the Harry Potter books, jewels, a pony, diamonds, a dress up set and a pony.

Love, Bra Briefs

Present Bringer of Holiday Bliss,

For this earthly holiday, I ask only one thing. MAKE ME STRONGER THAN KAKAROTT SO I CAN KILL HIM AND BE TRULY HAPPY! IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOUR LIFE SHORT AND MISERABLE!

Vegeta, the Prince of Saiyans, get used to it!

_Ohtay! Well, that was ultra-short... but I will get another up soon! I promise!_

Chibi Vegeta Face 

_Sole coal supplier of the USA!_


End file.
